Finally! A few weeks ago, you discovered the seduction advice section of Frenchtruckers, and 7 is no longer the number of deadly sins for you, but the number after the 0 in the phone numbers of all those girls you’ve met. Sarah, Louise, Jennifer, your diary is starting to look more like it should (you being a single man about town, and all), rather than a homework diary. But in love as in rugby, scoring tries isn’t everything, you need to go for the conversion. I mistrust all systematizers and I avoid them, said Nietzsche, and therefore we will not follow a set of magic rules to be applied at all times, but we’ll change tack according to the situation.

Situation 1 – typically, its that old chestnut, the girl you met in the street, you overcame your fear to speak to a stranger without trying to blatantly chat her up, you have managed to get her number, and your happier than if it were the winning lottery numbers. Nevertheless, when you think back on it, you realise that everything went quite quickly, and you only spent about 5 or 10 minutes with her. In this type of situation, don’t be big-headed, you’ll only stay in her mind for a few days. This means that the less time you spent with her the less comfortable she will be around you, so you shouldn’t wait too long to call her. She’s expecting you to respect the unwritten, and frankly stupid “3-day rule” that she’s read about in magazines, so thwart her plans by calling her only 2 days later, before the memory of you goes into the lost-and-found section in her brain. Whatever happens, never call her the day after. Whatever your other qualities may be, your attempt at becoming and staying the main attraction will not survive this gross error.

Situation 2 – you had the chance to christen your new powers of seduction over a longer period (an evening with friends, seduction over a longer period at work etc), and to put her enough at ease to almost miss you when you leave. In this case, change tack and make yourself scarce. An example being worth more than a long explanation, imagine that Ingrid, from the Swedish branch of Elite models, spends the evening at the Met Bar to celebrate the launch of a new redder-than-red lipstick. That night, she “chats” with 6 men, for 30 minutes each. They are all equally funny, cultivated and all drive Porsche Cayennes. Just another night for poor old Ingrid.
- The following day, 3 of the men call her. As she is busy counting the number of drops of olive oil she is allowed on her salad, she can’t answer. Of course, she’ll never call them back, as that’s not the done thing, or because it’s not worth it, they’ll either call back or be replaced.
- The next day, the 4th calls. She answers, he gives it a go, and with over-the-top good humour, tries to make her laugh and invites her to the theatre. She refuses, saying it’s her flatmate’s birthday. The last time she went to the opera, her seat was so uncomfortable that she woke up every time she managed to drop off.
- The 5th calls 3 days later. Before he even gets his name out, she already knows what he wants, and promises to call him back because she’s in the car at the moment, and “the signal keeps dropping”. He finally understands 2 months later that she’s never going to call him back.
- Days go by, and, chatting with her best friend (girls aways have best friends, which they rank like competitors in a race), she realises that the 6th guy hasn’t called her yet! How dare he! What else could he possibly have to do other than call her, like the others?

That’s your weapon, “what’s he doing?”. That’s what you need to call to her mind, and in order to do so there’s only one way: to disappear. For maximum one week, don’t push your luck. And never call at the weekend, or you might as well have got “no social life” tattooed on your forehead. You can stretch the week from 5 to 9 days, depending on which day you met.

Coming up: I came, I saw, I called! - Part II: what to say ?

Get more advice and details of Spike’s makeover and seduction courses, along with all his other news on www.spikeseduction.com

I – Make the most of your body, whatever it’s like

In the erratic but excellent American Psycho, Patrick Bateman replies to his secretary when she compliments him: “You can always be thinner, look better”. Don’t take this literally (don’t become anorexic, or a serial killer for that matter), but remember that you can (and should) make the most of what nature gave you. And to do so:

II – Invest in yourself first. Then buy the other stuff

I’ve got lots of friends who don’t have the time or the money to buy gym membership, or get their teeth whitened and get their corns sorted on their feet, but they have the time (and money) to watch the box sets of American TV series (£50 each) on DVD (£120 for the DVD player) on their 32–inch LCD TV (£900). Until you’re a multi-billionaire, when you can spend your money any way you want, spend the money on yourself first, on things which will make you a better person. Intellectually, and physically. For example:

III – Get the look

If you’re already more handsome than Cary Grant, and if your body language is already more manly than Brad Pitt in Fight Club, then, and only then, will getting the killer look do more harm than good as it will push you and your target further apart (putting you way out of her league) For the other 99.99% of you, this isn’t the case, so make sure you’re always as well dressed as possible in any given situation. You won’t believe the power of these bits of cloth they sell in shops called “clothes”, once you know how to choose them. But never use clothes to cover up the deadly sins:

IV – Hair, odours, wolf claws and other mutations

Stop lying to yourself: Only couch potatoes like telling all and sundry that a real man has a hairy back and smells like the changing rooms down at the local rugby club when he lifts his arms. Newsflash: (normal) women like men who are clean, not (too) hairy, and who smell nice. So go buy yourself some dental floss, don’t grow the Brazillian rainforest under your armpits, use antiperspirant if you need to, and get rid of any hair that grows anywhere where you’re the only one of all your friends to have hair! Only then will girls be able to concentrate on your other qualities:

V – Your confidence will flow from your skill

Along with energy, confidence is probably the sexiest free asset that a man can have. But to radiate confidence, there is no shortcut or joker you can use other than to be the master of your art. When the physio straps you up when you get injured, do you trust him? Of course, because he learnt and has carried out the same procedure 3000 times before you turned up. Don’t waste your time faking confidence if it’s something you lack. Learn how to react with women (in this case, how to make yourself more attractive to them) and your confidence will grow, along with your power of seduction.

Get more advice and details of Spike’s makeover and seduction courses, along with all his other news on www.spikeseduction.com